I'm a First Class Back Scratcher

Hello, world of blogging! It's been a long time since I've written on here, I know, and it's about time I started up again! I now work in 2 different long term care facilities, so I guess I've got double the stories to share. I work as a Recreation Assistant in 2 places, one being the place I've blogged about in the past (been there for 4 years) and one being in a home for veterans (been there for 2 years). I get an unbelievable amount of variety between the two, each quirky in its own way. I suppose I have more than 300 grandparents now, I've got closer to 500...

To ease my way back into the land of blogging, I'll share with you something that happened right after Christmas. I was going through the building with some four year old kids from an adjacent daycare, delivering the mail to elders living there. We do this every couple of days, and it's an awesome way to pass the morning. The kids, for the most part, are well behaved and high five all the grandpas, putting a big smile on the guys faces and bringing forward a moment of joy. There's one particular grandpa who always looks kinda grumpy. He's a sweetheart deep down, always greets me with a big "Hey there, honey!" and likes to chat if I've got a few minutes to sit down, but he usually keeps to himself. We'll call him Marty.

Well, we had a couple of late Christmas cards that had arrived late from Marty's family. The kids did their thing, high fiving, fist bumping, screaming at the birds and running around in circles. The usual. We delivered the cards and I asked Marty if we could get him anything before we moved on. He looked up at me with all of his wrinkles, oxygen hissing out of the tubes in his nose, and sighed. "Well honey, a back scratch would sure be great." Sure thing, I thought! No problem. I began to scratch his back in between the shoulder blades. "Lower down," he croaked. I went lower. "Lower down, lower down."

"Am I getting the itch?" I kept asking him. "Where is it?" His face got a little redder, he started to pant, and out came a loud "ohohohohohOhOhOhOHOHOHOH!! AHHHHhhhhhhh. Thank you honey. I think I just had a baby." The kids had stopped their goofing off and were standing in a row, staring, their mouths in a big O. I was just a tad horrified at what I'd done for this man (turning him on had NOT been my intention), and was trying to think of something to say when one little boy squeaked out, "ummm...what's wrong with grandpa?"

"Nothing!!!" I told him. "Nothing's wrong with grandpa, he's, uh, totally fine! Yup he's good. Bye Marty! Merry Christmas! Everyone wave bye to grandpa Marty!" And I ushered them out as fast as I could. As we walked out the door Marty called after us, "Bye honey! Thanks!"

Sure thing, Grandpa. You're welcome.